Monday, August 2, 2010

Two Weeks

Where has the summer gone? I have just two weeks left of my summer vacation. I can't believe it! I feel like a huge bum! I've gotten maybe five things on my list of 30 accomplished this summer. The guilt is starting to set in. I keep thinking there are so many things I need to get done. After our home study was complete, I thought I'd take some time to relax...and I just kept on relaxing. Then I took my trip to Michigan to visit my family. When I got back, I thought I'd get down to business, but instead I spent my days doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I've kept my house clean and even went to work in my new classroom a few times. This past week I helped out with our church day camp. It was amazing! But, other than that, NOTHING!

I wanted to paint my kitchen cabinets...still that ugly dark wood color. I wanted to texture and paint the walls in our family room...not done. I also wanted to sand and paint my baby chest that I will use in our nursery...still waiting. Then there's painting the nursery...also another big no! The list goes on and on and nothing is really checked off. I just haven't felt like doing those things and that's just not like me. I'm a list maker because I love crossing things off my list.

I definitely haven't wanted to do anything baby related because I don't want to get everything set up in the nursery and then wait forever with it just sitting there. I have done my research, so when the time comes I know what I'll need, but until then I'm just kind of waiting. It would be smart to at least get some paint on the walls, so I don't have to do that once school starts. I guess I do have two weeks left. We'll see if I can at least cross that off the list.

It's not that I'm depressed or anything like that. I'm in a really good place about where my life is right now. I'm fine with the wait...of course it's only been just over a month since our home study was approved. We'll see how I am in 10 months. ha! I am just trusting God and I know that He has a great plan for us and our baby. So I'm waiting...and I'm actually really happy.

I just don't feel like doing much. Not even blogging. I just don't have much to blog about. The fertility treatment part is over, and nothing is happening with the adoption. Although, maybe sometime I'll tell you about my talk with a casting director for a new adoption docuseries that will begin filming soon. I'm just enjoying a very lazy summer full of sun, water, great friends and family. Now that I think about it, that might be just what I needed.

The last three years of my life were full of change, some of the best days of my life, and of course heartache. But, now there's excitement and hope again. Maybe my body just needed some down time as well as my brain. I needed a summer to get back to who I was before all that other stuff...the girl who had lots of hope and trust about the future. I needed this lazy summer to rediscover myself and what a great life I share with a wonderful man.

Sometime soon, maybe I'll have more to blog about and leave more comments for you all. I am reading blogs, just not everyday. Maybe these last two weeks I'll cross a few things off my list. Maybe I won't, but at least I'll know that I made the most of the summer!

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Samantha said...

I think you should enjoy your time off. School is just around the corner (where did the summer go!?) and you need all the "veg" time that you can get now.

I can't wait to hear about the filming- are you going to do it?!

I also know your baby will be finding you very soon!

~Rachel~ said...

Good for you! Relaxation is something we often forget to put on our to-do lists! And I bet you will feel so much more refreshed at the start of the school year. :)

Andrea said...

Good for you to relax and enjoy your summer :) I love it when the storm of happiness fills the air, as it just feels so freeing.

Please DO keep up posted on the Docu-series! Sharing your journey is wonderful and I SO want to be part of it :)

Many, Many HUGS and enjoy the water!

Faith said...

If you took all that time to relax then you NEEDED it. I have found myself doing it more and more, and not feeling guilty. Everything will get done when it needs to be done. That said, I know the feeling of not wanting the nursery completely finished and just sitting there. But, as a girl who has a potential match, let me tell you - buying and organizing everything at the last minute is REALLY stressful. I was glad I at least had the big stuff done in the nursery. But, we had to put together a car seat, stroller, and swing this weekend, as well as put away tons of things from the shower my work threw for me. I'm telling you, as much as you are protecting your heart - also make sure you are preparing little by little. Otherwise, you might get a call saying your baby was born yesterday and you will have a lot of catching up to do:)! That's just my unsolicited advice:). I promise - it won't ever be done, so mine as well do it little by little! And it gives you something to focus on during the wait. Enjoy the rest of your restful summer!

Courtney said...

Good for you!! I'm so glad that you're happy and that you've been able to just relax and find yourself again. :-)

S.I.F. said...

I think downtime is probably exactly what you needed lady! Enjoy it... because hopefully soon enough your life will be full of chaos again!

Kelli said...

We are so in the same spot in life right now :) I'm excited for what is to come for both of us! Hope the school year gets off to a great start and that you are on maternity leave before you know it! xo

AnxiousMummyto3 said...

It's Ok to take time out for yourself if that's what you need! I don't mind if you are not commenting often :) Hope that your baby comes to you soon!

Stacey said...

I love that you enjoyed a fun and relaxing summer! You know, I'm always amazed at what projects can get done in a weekend. Even during the school year, you can get some of those things knocked out and work on marking things off of that list! (I know how satisfying that feels!)

Jennifer, I'm so glad that you are in a good place right now. I remain excited to see what God has in store for you. I do hope you'll share about the series; I'm VERY intrigued!

Thanks for the feedback about our nursery! I answered your question in the comments, but wanted to make sure you got the response. The color is New Peas by Martha Stewart. It is almost a decade old, so I hope they still make it! I'm very fond of it.

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