I totally agree that birth mothers deserve so much respect! In fact, I was just talking about this with my sister the other day. In my eyes it is one of the most unselfish acts there is...to be willing to have your baby and give that gift to the care of someone else.
I do not think there could ever be a day that I would ever give up my baby. For that, I think I am selfish. No matter what history, background, situation a mother is in, to give up their child for adoption is one of the most selfless acts I feel there are. I agree, they deserve much more than respect! Thank you for sharing the article!
I am a birth mother, and am lucky to have had a family that supported me, and didn't pressure me one way or the other with my decision. I have had to deal with some pretty painful comments from people, usually along the lines of them not understanding how anyone could possibly give their baby away. This is a good article for birth mothers, adoptive parents, and their adopted children.
Wow, it's actually hard for me to believe that stigma is out there - because I've never subscribed to it. As a social worker, I work with many children who are in protective custody. Many of them are newborns. Their parents ARE crack, meth, alcohol, etc addicts. THOSE are the parents who cannot think past their own stuff to choose a different life for their children. I am so amazed and in awe of moms and dads who AREN'T by any means dealing with those addictions and life circumstances, but ARE able to be so selfless. So, I guess I see the whole system in a completely different way.
Our birth parents (for now) are amazing people and would be amazing parents. They have one legal issue that makes them being able to raise this baby difficult...but not impossible. The birth dad told me today they could do it, but the baby would be the one who would have to be moved around and would suffer and they didn't want that for their child. I cried. It's so nice to know some people actually do put their children first. They are amazing, incredible people.
As an adoptive mother I am so thankful for my son's birth family. He came to us as a legal risk foster placement that was taken from his birth family due to their inability to parent him. He was not surrendered and it has been a long ugly battle. While they are still not ok with the adoption and are not exactly fond of us, we are ever so grateful to them for providing us with this spectacular little creature we can call our son! We are so blessed that he was able to find his way into our hearts and our home. It was a long road to get here and we are looking forward to the rest of this beautiful journey!! Birth families, not just mothers, need and deserve the utmost respect. Great article!!
The other day S-girl looked at me and non-chalantly said "I love my China mommy!"...she eagerly looked at me, waiting to see my response. I smiled and replied, "I love her too"!
And I do. I don't know her circumstances but I know she kept her baby girl for a whole month. S-girl's heart defect was palpable. I'm sure she knew she couldn't give her the care she needed. She gave her the gift of life. And for that I respect her and love her. We are forever connected!
The morning after we welcomed the Princess into our arms, I was blessed to meet her birthmother. I walked into the room, and looked into her eyes, here was a young woman giving me a gift worth more than any riches. I handed her the baby that we will always share, and she held her for the first time and we talked for two hours. I will never forget one moment.
We are blessed to know both of our daughter's birth parents. They are wonderful, smart, loving people who simply do not have much in life. They chose adoption because they wanted to give her every possibility and believed they could not give it to her themselves. I am thankful every day for the difficult choice they made. We love them and they will always be a part of who we are! It is difficult sometimes to hear comments people make about "the type of people" who give up their children. I have learned to smile and reply, "My daughter has the best birth parents in the world! They are wonderful parents who made an extremely difficult decision. They gave her the best life they were able to give and I am so blessed that THEY choose me!
9 comments:
I totally agree that birth mothers deserve so much respect! In fact, I was just talking about this with my sister the other day. In my eyes it is one of the most unselfish acts there is...to be willing to have your baby and give that gift to the care of someone else.
I do not think there could ever be a day that I would ever give up my baby. For that, I think I am selfish.
No matter what history, background, situation a mother is in, to give up their child for adoption is one of the most selfless acts I feel there are. I agree, they deserve much more than respect!
Thank you for sharing the article!
I am a birth mother, and am lucky to have had a family that supported me, and didn't pressure me one way or the other with my decision. I have had to deal with some pretty painful comments from people, usually along the lines of them not understanding how anyone could possibly give their baby away. This is a good article for birth mothers, adoptive parents, and their adopted children.
Wow, it's actually hard for me to believe that stigma is out there - because I've never subscribed to it. As a social worker, I work with many children who are in protective custody. Many of them are newborns. Their parents ARE crack, meth, alcohol, etc addicts. THOSE are the parents who cannot think past their own stuff to choose a different life for their children. I am so amazed and in awe of moms and dads who AREN'T by any means dealing with those addictions and life circumstances, but ARE able to be so selfless. So, I guess I see the whole system in a completely different way.
Our birth parents (for now) are amazing people and would be amazing parents. They have one legal issue that makes them being able to raise this baby difficult...but not impossible. The birth dad told me today they could do it, but the baby would be the one who would have to be moved around and would suffer and they didn't want that for their child. I cried. It's so nice to know some people actually do put their children first. They are amazing, incredible people.
As an adoptive mother I am so thankful for my son's birth family. He came to us as a legal risk foster placement that was taken from his birth family due to their inability to parent him. He was not surrendered and it has been a long ugly battle. While they are still not ok with the adoption and are not exactly fond of us, we are ever so grateful to them for providing us with this spectacular little creature we can call our son! We are so blessed that he was able to find his way into our hearts and our home. It was a long road to get here and we are looking forward to the rest of this beautiful journey!! Birth families, not just mothers, need and deserve the utmost respect. Great article!!
Great article.
The other day S-girl looked at me and non-chalantly said "I love my China mommy!"...she eagerly looked at me, waiting to see my response.
I smiled and replied, "I love her too"!
And I do. I don't know her circumstances but I know she kept her baby girl for a whole month. S-girl's heart defect was palpable. I'm sure she knew she couldn't give her the care she needed. She gave her the gift of life. And for that I respect her and love her. We are forever connected!
The morning after we welcomed the Princess into our arms, I was blessed to meet her birthmother. I walked into the room, and looked into her eyes, here was a young woman giving me a gift worth more than any riches. I handed her the baby that we will always share, and she held her for the first time and we talked for two hours. I will never forget one moment.
We are blessed to know both of our daughter's birth parents. They are wonderful, smart, loving people who simply do not have much in life. They chose adoption because they wanted to give her every possibility and believed they could not give it to her themselves. I am thankful every day for the difficult choice they made. We love them and they will always be a part of who we are! It is difficult sometimes to hear comments people make about "the type of people" who give up their children. I have learned to smile and reply, "My daughter has the best birth parents in the world! They are wonderful parents who made an extremely difficult decision. They gave her the best life they were able to give and I am so blessed that THEY choose me!
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