Friday, March 26, 2010

Retreat


I'm so excited about this weekend because it's our annual church Ladies Retreat. Words do not begin to explain how much I need this weekend right now. I went back and forth about going. When my friends started signing up in November or December, I wasn't sure where we would be at with our fertility treatments, so I held out. Then we began looking at adoption agencies and I held off because I didn't want anything to get in the way of that. Just this past Sunday, I finally signed up and wrote my check for the retreat.

Then we had our informational meeting with the agency we really love this week. We were invited to attend the Adoption Education Seminar if we wanted to sign up with them. We are pretty certain we are going to go with this agency so we considered it, but then last night we had a long talk and there were many tears on my part. Even though this is soooo exciting, it's scary, it's new, it's frustrating and so many other things. I just had a break down moment. I'm sick of waiting to have a baby. I waited to start a family. Then we started trying for a family and had to wait. Now I have to wait to adopt. I'm just not being patient. Believe me, I know God has an amazing plan for us and I haven't lost my faith in HIM. I just had one of those nights that I'm sure most of you can relate to. Today things are looking a little brighter.

After all my crying last night, I decided I really need this weekend. I need time with God. I need some time in the woods with myself. I need time with my friends. I need time to think. I just need some time away.

I'm leaving today after school and won't be back until Sunday. I have so many blogs to catch up on and emails to return so if you are waiting for a response, just know I will get to you as soon as I get back. But, right now I need to get away.

I hope your weekend is as good as I anticipate mine being.


I just had to include this too.  It's from the website of the camp where we are staying. 
We are staying in The Woods section.  Looks so beautiful!

19 comments:

Naomi said...

Yay! So glad you are going with us! Praying that you will be able to rest in HIS arms and be loved by your friends this weekend. Can't wait. Better go pack! ;)

Courtney said...

I hope you have an amazing time this weekend! You deserve it!!

Jennifer said...

Jen, have a great weekend! I hope you come back on Sunday refreshed :-)

Crossed Fingers said...

This weekend sounds like the perfect solution. Take some time to be with yourself and let your heart and mind come up with the answer for you. I hope you come back refreshed and ready to move forward!

christina said...

Sounds like a wonderful weekend! Best of luck with your adoption!!

iclw

Andrea said...

Jennifer,

I echo so much of what you said...I've cried those tears so many times and felt that great, uninvited frusteration only to be put on hold one more time. It seems as if I take one step forward and then 2 backwards...BUT the fact that we keep moving is what is important.

Journey on sweet friend and know that a perfect baby is waiting to enter your arms :) All this uncertainty and frusteration will be so worth the tears. We just have to remember to believe.

Enjoy your retreat and take in all that nature's goodness has to offer.

HUGS
xo

Patrish said...

Have an wonderful time this weekend and revive your strength and soul. Can't wait to hear how it goes.....

Faith said...

Sounds like a wonderful weekend! Yes, i know how those breakdowns can go. As you'll see from one of my most recent posts, it is hard to hold out hope all the time after all we've been through. Sometimes our grief and our impatience just get the best of us. And that's ok! You are right, there is a wonderful plan for us out there. We just have to WAIT (uggghhh, I hate that word) for it:). Have fun!

Jonelle said...

Have fun at your retreat. May it be a time of rest and reflection for you. As well as bringing you closer to God.

Jodi said...

Infertility and adoption are both very emotional processes, and it's normal to have break downs! Trust me, you are not alone!!! I have been there done that LOTS of times!

Have a wonderful time at the retreat, and I hope you are able to get some much deserved peace and serenity!

Maggie said...

I'll keep you all in my prayers! Waiting is SO hard!

Kelli said...

I can totally relate to the waiting game!! They do say that is the hardest part!

Sounds like a glorious weekend!! Hope you have a blast

Shellie Salza said...

Hope it's a peaceful and relaxing weekend!

Sam said...

I remember those crying times, J. So hard. I hope it's a wonderful weekend. You deserve it!

twondra said...

Yay! So happy you're getting away! I hope you enjoy it!

Leslie said...

Thank you for your post on my blog!! I hope that you are having a wonderful and relaxing weekend!

DeniFay said...

Glad you are getting to go to that retreat! Hope you really enjoyed it! That sounds glorious right now. I know that conversation and those tears, for the waiting! Oh, how we wish it would just HAPPEN already! I'm praying it's a quick wait (however quick it can be). And I also know that blogging about it led us to our birthmother, so you just never know what can happen! Sending love!

Becky said...

I hope this weekend was a time of rest and refreshment for you. Times like these are so important. Sometimes we just have to take a break from infertility/adoption related stuff and just be with others who love and support us. Sounds like you have an amazing church family!

The point at which you are at was one of the most difficult parts of this journey for me - being done with infertility treatments, but not knowing exactly what direction we were going in as far as adoption. So many decisions had to be made - what agency, what type of adoption, what age, special needs, open or closed, etc. I felt so overwhelmed, yet I was so ready to be a mother. One of the things that helped me was realizing we could take a step forward, and then make a change if that turned out to be a wrong decision for us. I was unnecessarily afraid of making a "wrong" decision. But I can tell you, that it has gotten much easier. Once you get through this part, it WILL get better!

((HUGS))

Jodi said...

By the way, my blog went private. Please email me if you would like an invite! :)

 
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