Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Getting Caught Up

My weekend was just what I needed!  I had a wonderful time with my friends and spent some quiet time with God.  The camp was simply beautiful.  We were right on a lake and there were lots of pine trees.  It was peaceful and relaxing.  We had an amazing speaker, but part of it was hard to listen to.  She struggled with infertilty for years, adopted, and then went on to have three kids.  I mean I know it happens, but after that, several people decide to tell me, "Once you decide to adopt you will get pregnant."  Or "I bet as soon as you bring your baby home, you will get pregnant."  Everyone knows someone who had that happen to them.  I don't doubt that it could happen.  I know God does great things.  I'm just not going to live my life hoping that happens. 

I'm at peace with our decision.  I'm actaully very excited to see what God has in store for us.  I'm not going to live my life hoping I am able to conceive someday.  I'm not going to keep praying that it happens and cry each month when it doesn't.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there will be times when I'm sad to see AF arrive.  I'm just not going to let that consume me anymore.  I can't do it.  We have made a decision and I am going to embrace that decision.  God builds families in so many different and wonderful ways.  Mine is just going to happen through adoption.  And, I'm excited about that!  :)

Here are some pics of the beautiful camp..  Enjoy!

Loved how wooded it is.

A view of the lake

I'm a bit blurry.

The lake

The paddle boat ride.  Katie and Amber took us on a ride

Getting ready to do the zip line with Naomi.  I was a little scared, but loved it!


Samantha said...

I'm glad you had a great weekend- it looks beautiful! Thanks for the sweet words on my blog!

Cape Girl said...

It sounds like the retreat was great. It's so nice to hear you sounding so happy about your decision. I can't tell you how many people tell me that if I just relax it will happen! Even with IVF, there's certainly no guarantee.

I'm really looking forward to following your journey through adoption.

Faith said...

Looks like an awesome weekend!

I think what is hard about those comments is that it re-opens our wounds, and touches a chord we wish wasn't there. What they are essentially saying is "we know that conceiving is what you REALLY want, and adoption is just a stepping stone to get there." You and I both know that is not true! BUT, what it does is remind us of the loss we have experienced in NOT conceiving that child as we had hoped. And the grief comes again. As an adoptive mommy-to-be, I SO wish I didn't still long for a biological child, but I do. And when they say that, they are hitting that vulnerable place for me without any clue what they are saying, and I wish they wouldn't.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that I understand:). As you've seen from my posts, I feel the same way you do. I also am realizing that there are good days and bad days on this journey, and that's ok too! I'm so excited for you and this new journey! Can't wait to hear all about it:)!

Salza Family said...

So glad you had a great weekend! You're wise to make a plan that works for your family and to know that your hope is in the Lord. Don't worry about what others say or think.

Thinking of you lots as you move forward!

Mama Bear said...

looks like such a peaceful place! good luck on your journey to being a mommy!

DeniFay said...

I agree that hearing about all these people who know people who... After adoption. I feel like some people see it as a means to an end, and that's not the case. I'm not (and know you're not) adopting in hopes that it will magically make you pg! And for me calming down and not worrying about it hasn't made me pg either. I believe adoption is a calling and I know God has a great plan for both of us and many others by calling us to adopt! I'm excited to see where all it takes us and to celebrate our children born of our hearts!!

That place looks amazing! I'm a little jealous of your girls retreat!! So glad you got to relax, enjoy good company, & get some uninterrupted God time!!

S.I.F. said...

I am so happy you have come to a point of peace with this, and so jealous of your camp! That looks like such a blast!

So, I have a question... hopefully it's OK! Have you thought about breastfeeding? I guess there are ways now to induce lactation so you can still breastfeed even when you adopt. I've thought about it, and depending on how young the baby was I think I would do it - I'm just curious if you've thought about it?!?

And if that is too personal or you have no clue, you just go right on ahead and ignore me! :)

A said...

I am so glad you had an amazing time- it looks beautiful and a very good spot to do alot of quality reflection/prayer.

That is my biggest fear of what will happen if I tell my friends that we've been trying and now we're saving to adopt. Like you say, of course it happens, and God can do anything, but in OUR shoes, we can't hang our hat on that. Ugh. Praying your adoption journey will be short and smooth!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like an amazing weekend. So glad you enjoyed yourself. We all need that break from time to time and I'm really glad that yours was just what you needed. Love the pictures! Congratulations on deciding to adopt. It's such a beautiful thing. We will likely be pursuing that route as well one day soon I hope.

Crossed Fingers said...

I'm glad you found peace and are moving forward, that's all you can really ask for in this struggle - to find peace one way or another. It looks like a beautiful place and really relaxing!

The Millers said...

I am so glad that you had a great time! It looks like so much fun. What a beautiful place!

BabyFeverBlog said...

I'm excited for you and also look forward to following your journey through adoption. I worked in the adoption field for many years and have seen so many wonderful families that were created this way...truly a miracle!

Basic Girl said...

Sounds like a fabulous weekend, and the pics are so beautiful and so happy you had an amazing time!!

Sam said...

You look beautiful and happy. So glad it was a great weekend. I'm with your friend Faith on what people seem to be saying with that "now you'll get pregnant" stuff. Grrr. Always annoyed me. You might just try boring them silly like I did, with "Actually, statistics show that about 8 percent of couples who adopt will go on to spontaneously conceive biological children, which is the same percentage as infertile couples who DON'T adopt." They usually start yawning about half-way through. But the point is, the percentages are not high. Everyone knows a Lifetime movie story about it happening, but there's a reason why that makes good TV. :)

Andrea said...


There are more ways than one to arrive at Motherhood :) I've come to the realization that as long as I become a Mother that is the most important thing. To share our love with a child, whether biological or of the heart...love knows no difference :)

Glad you had a nice time away and the camp looks so cute! Yes, people say all the wrong things and for that I am sorry. However, it's heart warming that you have embraced your decision. Live in "THIS MOMENT" and enjoy what reveals itself, as GOD is the keeper of all blessings.

Much Love

Jodi said...

Looks like you had a great weekend! Pretty scenery!

People tell me that all the time, too...that I'll get pregnant after we adopt. Um, okay, tell that to my RE who said it would be "unprecedented" for me to conceive....ha!

People mean well, I know....but it's frustrating sometimes!

Rachel W. said...

I am so glad you had a nice weekend getaway…it seems very well deserved!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great weekend and it looks beautiful there!

Baby Wanted said...

It sounds like you had an awesome weekend!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard those words, "once you adopt, you will get pregnant because you will relaxed!" Geez, makes me think I have a stick up my butt and I'm an uptight witch, lol! :)

God has wonerful plans for us all and only he knows what those are and that is what I usually say to people with their retarded statements.

Stacey said...

Looks lovely! I'm so glad you had a great time away.

So sorry for the comments. I don't know why people love to say that. Sure, I have two blog friends who adopted and then had babies soon after. It happens. But I literally have DOZENS of other blog friends (and real-life friends) who grew their families by adoption and are perfectly happy with their lives, of course! You know what's right for you, and I know you're trusting God along the way. Just let those comments go in one ear and out the other. :)

P.S. I have that exact same Pioneer Woman shirt!!! I didn't get to go to a book signing, but a friend did and let me have her shirt. So cute!

Becky said...

Looks and sounds like you had a wonderful weekend! So glad it was what you needed.

It is hard to hear those comments - I have heard "don't give up" more than I have heard the once you adopt you'll get pregnant comment. They are both equally bad, as both imply that a biological child is "better" than an adopted child. The Lord builds families in different ways, all beautiful. I can't wait to see what He has in store for your family! Do you know what type of adoption you are pursuing yet?

I am with you about living life hoping to conceive one day. I just can't do it either. I know that with God all things are possible, so it is not that I don't have hope. I have just felt the need to let it go; I no longer pray to be pregnant. I pray for God to bless us with children however He chooses.

Naomi said...

I am so glad you got to go on the retreat with us. I had a wonderful time with you! I am going to have to borrow your pictures when I get around to posting about the weekend. You got some great shots.

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