Oh, the Places You'll Go!

I think I've mentioned my love for children's books before. I love, love, love them! As a former kindergarten teacher...up until this year....I have a love for all things Dr. Seuss. His books are great for teaching rhyming. I read, "Oh, the Places You'll Go!  to my class last week and it really hit home to me. I feel like this one part is my life right now.

*picture courtesy of wikipedia

"You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

                   You can get all hung up
                    in a prickle-ly perch.
                   And your gang will fly on.
                   You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chance are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down those long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place..."

Do you ever feel like your friends have flown on without you? I sure do. Don't get me wrong...I have amazing IRL friends! They have been wonderful during all of this. But, there are many things I don't share with them because unless you've been down this path, you don't get it. I have friends who are done having babies, I have friends that are having second and third babies and I have friends that are just starting their families. What are we doing?? Waiting!

Believe me...none of this has been our plan.  Those bang-ups have happened along the way.  I've also spent my time in a slump and it's no kind of fun! It stinks! I don't like feeling bad. I wish I was stronger. I wish I trusted God so much that I never questioned Him. It's not that I don't trust Him, because I definitely do, but a lot of the time I question Him. It's the control freak in me. :) I know that. I also know that this has been good for me. It stinks, but it's been good. I've learned that life is not about what I want. This life is about what God wants for me. It's about what God wants me to do with this life He's given me.

During all of this, I've decided that while I'm in this "Waiting Place," I'm going to use this time to serve God and to praise Him. Because, I know however our story ends it will be just the way we've always wanted it. Our path to the end will just be different than we planned.

I think I mentioned that our small group did a study on the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan last spring. It was amazing! The book has changed my thinking in so many ways.  It made me think more about my relationship with God and with other people.  It made me think about my love for Jesus.  Do I love him enough that I'm willing to take risks?  Am I willing to love him in that crazy way that I would do anything for him?  Good stuff!
This Friday, our small group is going to the World Impact Conference in Dallas to hear Francis speak!  He has such a heart for those that need help.  I know I will be convicted and encouraged when I leave there. 

If you aren't familiar with Francis, take four minutes and watch this video.  It's pretty powerful! 




"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
— Francis Chan

I Love Breakouts!

Student: "Mrs. C, what's that on your head?"
Me: "A pimple, thanks for noticing."

You can't get anything past a second grader.

2nd Grade is Great!!

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted anything. Wow! Getting back in the school routine has been kicking my behind.  It's been great though. I love my second graders! I have a funny group of little people. I've learned all sorts of interesting things in the last 7 days.

I found out that the middle finger is really called the "curse finger." Yep! I found that out when one little guy was telling me about his fall off the treadmill this summer and how he scratched his "curse finger." He also talks to his cat and his cat talks back. He's got some sort of amazing talent where he can read his cat's mind. Of course when you are a daddy to a cat, you are able to do those sort of things. At least that's what he tells me. :)

Today one of my guys wore his pajamas to school under his clothes. When I asked him if he forgot to take them off this morning his response was priceless. He said "Of course not, Mrs. C, I put them on so that I can just take my clothes off tonight and be ready for bed. I need to get to bed early now that we are back in school, ya know." I agree that he does need to get to bed early. BUT, considering it is about 98 degrees outside and we went out for about 10 minutes at the end of the day, I'm not so sure how great of an idea that one was. You can just imagine what a Sweaty Betty he was! ha!

This is just one reason I love teaching. I get to laugh a lot. Of course there are so many other reasons.

I miss all of my blogging friends. Hopefully this week I'll be able to get back on track and catch up with everyone.

Check, Check, Check

Since time is running out I decided to get going on my list. Did I mention one of the dressers I'm using in the nursery was my baby dresser? It's a taller chest and was just a light wood stain. I sanded it today and painted it a soft white color. I'll post pictures when I put the drawers back in and get some new nobs. It looks pretty good if I do say so myself. I can't wait for my mom to see the transformation. I know she'll love it.

Tomorrow we are planning to paint the nursery. We are just going with a light blue wall color. I have not purchased any bedding, but I have two different sets picked out. Depending on the sex of the baby we end up bringing home, I will order the bedding then. We have a cradle our friends offered to let us borrow so we will use that in the beginning anyway.

My classroom is almost finished. It's starting to come together. Now I just need to spend some time getting some plans done and figuring out what I need to teach in 2nd grade. I might be ready by August 23rd...time will tell.

Does anyone else who lives in Texas think the weather has been super hot? I just don't see how people work outside in this heat. I've also seen a lot of dogs outside and it just breaks my heart. My little guy is ready to come in pretty quickly after I let him out. I certainly don't blame him. It's so hot, our pool water feels like bath water. I laid on my floaty today with the water hose running on it just to cool off a bit after being outside sanding the dresser. Sorry, if it seems like I'm complaining. I'm definitely not. I love Texas and I wouldn't trade the heat for a long winter with all that snow in Michigan.

I know I've said many times before how much I love our church family. We have the best church. I prayed for a church where I felt like I belonged for a long time, even before I moved to Texas. I wanted Barry and I to get involved in a church and just have our close friends there. And it happened. We love our church!

Wednesday nights have been wonderful this summer. Our theme has been From Ordinary to ExtraOrdinary. Each week we've had a different theme. This week was prayer. There is always a short video by one of our members each week and then a discussion. Barry and I have been table leaders this summer...which really means nothing except we facilitate the discussion at our table. There are questions to go along with the video so it makes our job easy.

Our table had some good discussion this week and we talked about how different prayers have been fulfilled or how sometimes our prayers are not answered in the way we want them to be answered. During the discussion time, Barry mentioned that we feel so blessed that so many people have been praying for our adoption and that it has meant so very much to us. Our minister and his wife who we absolutely love were sitting at our table too. Henriann stopped us all right then and said she thought we should stop right then to pray for us and our situation. It was really a moving prayer for me. I'm a crier to begin with, but having everyone hold hands and just pray for us and for the birth mothers who are making decisions was a really special time. We know God is in control and has the perfect baby for us. Our prayers have really been more for the birth mothers during this process. I cannot begin to imagine the difficult decisions these women make. The depth of love they have for their child is a beautiful thing. It makes me cry to even think about it (it's the crier in me).

I know I'm not doing a good job of explaining how wonderful this time of prayer was, but I guess it was just something you would have needed to be there for. We are blessed by wonderful people who have supported us during our fertility struggles and continue to do so during the adoption process and while we wait. (It's not just our friends from church either.)God has definitely led us to the place we needed to be at this time in our lives. And for that I thank Him.

"I had Ravioli for Dinner"

My three year old nephew called me a couple of nights ago. Only when I saw the caller ID I thought it was my mom. When I answered all I could hear was him quietly saying, "hi jenfa." So I started talking to him and asking him all sorts of questions about what he was doing at grandma's house, was he having fun and such. Then all of a sudden he said, "I had ravioli for dinner." I love it! He then went on to tell me he had milk and "watamelon." He also got to jump on the trampoline in the rain.

When my mom finally got on the phone she said he brought the phone to her and said, "Call jenfa, grandma." How could she pass that up?? Before my visit this summer, he never wanted to talk to me on the phone let alone ask to call. I'd ask to talk to him and then either my mom or my sister would ask him and he would say, "Noooooo." Now he wants to call me!! It makes me so happy. I think I may need to take a trip up there this fall! I'm missing him so much already.

Here's a pic I took while I was visiting.  He was picking up crab apples in my mom's backyard.

Two Weeks

Where has the summer gone? I have just two weeks left of my summer vacation. I can't believe it! I feel like a huge bum! I've gotten maybe five things on my list of 30 accomplished this summer. The guilt is starting to set in. I keep thinking there are so many things I need to get done. After our home study was complete, I thought I'd take some time to relax...and I just kept on relaxing. Then I took my trip to Michigan to visit my family. When I got back, I thought I'd get down to business, but instead I spent my days doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I've kept my house clean and even went to work in my new classroom a few times. This past week I helped out with our church day camp. It was amazing! But, other than that, NOTHING!

I wanted to paint my kitchen cabinets...still that ugly dark wood color. I wanted to texture and paint the walls in our family room...not done. I also wanted to sand and paint my baby chest that I will use in our nursery...still waiting. Then there's painting the nursery...also another big no! The list goes on and on and nothing is really checked off. I just haven't felt like doing those things and that's just not like me. I'm a list maker because I love crossing things off my list.

I definitely haven't wanted to do anything baby related because I don't want to get everything set up in the nursery and then wait forever with it just sitting there. I have done my research, so when the time comes I know what I'll need, but until then I'm just kind of waiting. It would be smart to at least get some paint on the walls, so I don't have to do that once school starts. I guess I do have two weeks left. We'll see if I can at least cross that off the list.

It's not that I'm depressed or anything like that. I'm in a really good place about where my life is right now. I'm fine with the wait...of course it's only been just over a month since our home study was approved. We'll see how I am in 10 months. ha! I am just trusting God and I know that He has a great plan for us and our baby. So I'm waiting...and I'm actually really happy.

I just don't feel like doing much. Not even blogging. I just don't have much to blog about. The fertility treatment part is over, and nothing is happening with the adoption. Although, maybe sometime I'll tell you about my talk with a casting director for a new adoption docuseries that will begin filming soon. I'm just enjoying a very lazy summer full of sun, water, great friends and family. Now that I think about it, that might be just what I needed.

The last three years of my life were full of change, some of the best days of my life, and of course heartache. But, now there's excitement and hope again. Maybe my body just needed some down time as well as my brain. I needed a summer to get back to who I was before all that other stuff...the girl who had lots of hope and trust about the future. I needed this lazy summer to rediscover myself and what a great life I share with a wonderful man.

Sometime soon, maybe I'll have more to blog about and leave more comments for you all. I am reading blogs, just not everyday. Maybe these last two weeks I'll cross a few things off my list. Maybe I won't, but at least I'll know that I made the most of the summer!